Am I an optimist?

Hell No. And I'll tell you why.

Okay, maybe I won't tell you as much as just bitch for a bit that will hint as to why I'm a depressed alcoholic pessimist. Things never go as they should. That, in my nutshell, is why I hate this place, this world, everything.

Jenni was going to come down to see me today since I had class all weekend long, but she couldn't. I couldn't reach her on the phone, and assumed/hoped that she was on her way. I finally called her house, and she was there sick.

I feel like shit cause I had been hyping myself up. She was coming to see me, she was on her way, she was not answering the phone to surprise me. NOPE. She was asleep cause she felt like shit.

That my friends is why I'm not an optimist. Cause everytime I get excited about anything I only get dropped back to reality again. I hate this feeling. I hate the fact that I wanted something so bad, and it just fell out from under me again. I want to get loaded, but I can't cause I can't drink enough to. I hate this place.

Oh well, WHATEVER. Fuck it all.

I'm going back to bed.