Notes from the past ...

This is something I wrote a bit back. Still true I guess. I'm not depresed or down right now, but it would be nice.

I just want someone. I need someone. I don't have anyone to go to. I don't have anyone to give me hugs, no one to reassure me when I feel constricted. I am becoming close to some of the guys at work, but I can't hang out with them outside of there. I have to hang out with the Coops, and they are too far away.

I talk to you all on AIM from time to time, Thank you for helping a friend. I can only hope to repay the favor eventually. But sometimes that isn't enough. I need someone to hold, someone to hold me back. And when the pain brings me to tears again, when it overwhelms me I need a friend to be here.

And there is no one ...

I don't know. I wish I had never taken this damn job. Wish I had never gone to the damn career fair. I don't even enjoy doing EE work anymore. I don't know what I need to do to set my head straight. Excercise is great it helps, and I will have my bike here soon, and I can ride VWE to Springfield, and my bike to work from there. It will help with the driving stress. But I need something more recently. Something to totaly wipe my mind. Something to help me forget everything. But I am not going to drink. It hurts my friends too much.

That is all I had written down. So I guess that is all I have. I know it is depressing, but it is what is.