hmm.... huhh.... hmm...

Yeah, I know... I'm not an ent...

I hate Rolla. I don't just midly dislike it. I really hate it. Every second of every moment of my every ounce of existance in this hell of an establishment and hole of a town makes me linger for anything else.

I really hate it here. Then again, I could have had a shitty time with parents yelling alot of the weekend, and not enough time in Jenni's arms. And I guess I could just be pissed at everything else too... I don't know. I'm going to drink then go to bed.

Fucking Valentines Day

I don't Know what the fuck is the deal with this holiday.

You do what the fuck you can, and what do you do except make someones day miserable. I tried to do everything I could to make this day nice for Jenni, who came to visit me today, and nothing seemed to go right. So... I hate this fucking holiday.

I don't even feel like trying for it anymore. Every time I've ever tried to do something good for Valentines Day it has always blown up in my face. Fuck it. I'm done trying for it. It's a stupid commercial holliday just to point out the singles, and make them feel bad about them selves anyway.

I Hate Me.

Poem Something

Friday Night

The Pain is endless.
My head explodes in so many colors.
It hurts.

I'm alone again.
No one around.
My roommates gone.
I've run aground.

My brain swells inside.
The music washes it all away again.
It cleanses.

The music accompanies.
It gives me someone.
I'm glad thier gone.
The volume's done.

I want the radio to go higher.
The volume feels so good.
I know what it is I want.
I want it, her, and everything.

Life is blinding me.
I cannot see any more.
These things I know are here.
Why can I not see?

I can't see what is now.
The past blows it away.
In all of my mistakes I drown.
And again the taste's so foul.

The thought is all that's here.
I can feel it in my heart.
My eyes may be blinded.
But my mind causes the tear

... And the course of actions clear.